HomeОбществоRelated VideosMore From: TEDx Talks

The myth of 'broken' families | Nina Farr | TEDxTotnes

186 ratings | 17728 views
Over a quarter of families in the UK are now headed by a single parent. Leadership Coach for Lone Parents, Nina Farr, speaks about how families like hers are portrayed culturally and socially. Drawing on both personal and professional experience she shares an inspiring vision for the future of ‘broken’ families. Nina Farr is an Exeter based Leadership Coach working with lone parent and step families. She helps parents make the transition from traumatic family breakdown into inspired and positive parenting. She has been supporting families for over 5 years, working closely with local charities and services to reach out to families recovering from domestic abuse. ‘I believe there is no-one better placed to support your children through times of chaos and change than you are. I’m here to show you how to rediscover the joy in parenting, no matter what challenges life is throwing your way.’ Nina has experienced lone parenthood and step parenting herself, and is the author of a leadership program for lone parent called ‘Family Vision’. She is currently writing a book that will help take the message of empowerment, positivity and joy in parenting to many more diverse families. Nina is a passionate advocate for families who too often find themselves disadvantaged by their circumstances. Her mess This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
Category: Общество
Html code for embedding videos on your blog
Text Comments (40)
Adam Weishaupt (1 month ago)
Single mothers are cancer.
bands_ _freak (2 months ago)
Yeah this is totally just an emotional appeal to make single moms feel better about themselves. From the title I figured she would try to objectively prove that the majority of kids who grew up with single moms turned out responsible adults. Turns out theres just not enough statistics to back up that claim, and she had to take a different route. Listen, i dont know how old your sons are now. Maybe they are still small enough where you can parent them. But if they don't have a father figure by the time theyre teenagers, your household is going to be chaotic. You wont be able to discipline them on your own so easily, and whatever substitute you have for father-son bonding and teaching your boys how to be men will most likely be subpar at best. I was recommended several other ted talks that from the titles appear to be more bolstering of single motherhood. I wonder how many ted talks I'll find on the importance of fathers.
Andrew Rai (2 months ago)
Being the son of a single mother, I’ll tell you your sons NEED a man in their lives! You are not going to teach them how to be men, you will not teach your son how to throw a punch, you will not teach them how to fight a bully, man I can go on and on. Please let your sons see their father.
Andrew Rai (1 month ago)
Number 3 3 actually it’s Christmas today so I’ll try not to be uncharitable in my criticism to your logic. What you are basically saying is equivalent to: well I know a lot of people who wore seatbelts yet got hurt in a accident so seatbelts are not that important.
Number 3 3 (1 month ago)
True but what you’re lacking is common sense. A lot of fathers don’t even want to be in there own kids life let alone there wife or girlfriend. So a man is nothing more than a potential that’s it . I know humans who had both mom an dad an the house still a negative or unstable destruction household so having a father or not doesn’t account to the person success or outcomes in life
Andrew Rai (2 months ago)
Yes your family is broken! Im sure your children are suffering without a father, don’t speak for them. You are so self centered! You are all about what YOU think is right.
Andrew Rai (2 months ago)
You are the problem! You moved miles away from the father of your children. I can see why your husband left you.
dambigfoot (2 months ago)
Quit trying to make BT-1000s feel better about their dysfunction
Muhammad Umer (3 months ago)
Stop glorifying your selfishness and poor choices in life. You are NO LONGER a real "mother" when you make poor choices of breaking up a family, that result in depriving a child of constant ongoing, meaningful presence of both parents in his/her life. You are NO LONGER a real *mother* when YOU make choices that result in you dumping your kid into a daycare/childcare/someone else's care, and head off "to be out there doing things I love to do". Nothing could be more selfish and megalomaniac to do that to your own children. Stop glorifying your selfishness. It is nauseating and criminal.
Chrystal de Rozario (3 months ago)
You are amazing stay strong queen
jbird Perez (6 months ago)
i see and hear a great woman and i agree ... let your experience by you teacher. Keep your awareness in the heart and Let go of all grievance , resentment regrets, look for the breakthrough and the best ... free free free yourself from any passes that may have resolve pain stay motivated & get inspired.
John Bull (6 months ago)
Why not do your best for your children, which is what all the statistics show is provided by the family unit, instead of selfishly leaving your marriage and trying to justify it?
Mike Fedak (4 months ago)
Carla K. Don't pick a bad partner. Most parents abuse both of each other.. so both parents are always a mess
John Bull (6 months ago)
Carla K. That's a completely different issue to a loveless marriage.
Carla K. (6 months ago)
Domestic violence is more dangerous and damaging.
John Bull (6 months ago)
Carla K. Statistics show divorce is more damaging
Carla K. (6 months ago)
John Bull yeahhhh, stay in a loveless marriage and damage your children that way.
Kishorie Weingart (7 months ago)
Don't let other peoples' lives define yours.
TheRealHarsjan (8 months ago)
Common sense tells me that you have broken family. That is all.
Megan Giroux (10 months ago)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am using it in my class on changing families. Your message is so important!
Charlene Lizette (10 months ago)
so true! loved watching this
tavo m (10 months ago)
Unconvincing. Failure is the opposite of success, broken the opposite of fixed whether it makes you feel good or bad doesn't redefine those words. Kindness is a good message, so is courage. I am going to pretend that's all she said and not all the other broken=fixed bollocks.
Carla Grierson (10 months ago)
Very inspirational and important message for single parents and all parents.
sue-ellen van niekerk (11 months ago)
Excellent talk, societal labels can no longer define us.
Evito Cruor (11 months ago)
Self-serving excuses for her own part in the mess she is in. If and that's a big if, her husband was what she implies just who chose that as the father? The statistics are absolutely overwhelming, single mothers are utterly incapable of raising well adjusted adults and on top of that almost all criminals and abusers are the children of single mothers.
Don Schindler (9 months ago)
Kati Boeheim Stay focused on the facts. It clearly supports the position that of all family forms single parenthood is a deleterous pathology. It is deluded and self- serving to assert otherwise.
Evito Cruor (10 months ago)
Kati Boeheim You have obviously never seen the process up close, yes there are women who marry a guy who doesn't quite like up to the standard he presented upfront, they are a very marked minority. Then there are widows who obviously have no part in their situation. However the fact stands that most women will abuse the courts, the husband and especially use the children as weapons. The reason men are reluctant to marry has nothing to do with the reasons women think they have, it is a response to what they see all around them and many have seen their own mothers do it to their father. The time of chivalry where your pathetic shaming language and emotional appeals to innuendo have absolutely no effect on men of any worth as a mate. Women killed it, not men.
Kati Boeheim (10 months ago)
How dare you. What a typical response from a terrible human. Check your "stats". Most single moms are single for a very wise reason, or simply caught unaware the person they married is really not that man. So yes let's stay married for the sake of your invalid, very abhorrent ideology of the sanctity of marriage while children learn exactly how to not be productive members of society watching dad not work, not perform basic household duties, or much worse. I applaud her for standing up and saying you can do it even if this was not the plan. People like you, sanctimonious, unethical, rude & have no right to comment are the reason single parents everywhere need these reminders we are not alone. No one goes into marriage thinking only of eventual divorce. Think about this, no good marriage ever ended in divorce. How blessed you are to have what many don't. And how atrocious of you to comment on what you know nothing of.
Evito Cruor (10 months ago)
Tajiri San I stand corrected. I've yet to meet or even hear of a woman that accurately portraits her own part in the shipwreck of a divorce. It's almost like women are children and need a chaperone, makes one wonder just why all high cultures that ever existed restricted female rights and collapsed after their relaxation.
George Anthony (11 months ago)
Self absorbed egotist
Timmy Otool (1 year ago)
Who cares bout you!! Only the kids matter
Charlie w (5 months ago)
She's raising the kids.... I would hope she was mentally sound.
Nina Farr (1 year ago)
thanks everyone! I am so uplifted by the love and support for this talk, and for all the amazing families out there who deserve celebrating <3
FESTER (8 months ago)
Nina Farr absolutely delusional
Belinda M (1 year ago)
Thank you Nina, you have said everything I haven't been able to put into words....thankyou xxx
ncarcisse (1 year ago)
Wow!! What an incredible speech! I accept your invitation!!
Myrna Buckles (1 year ago)
So true. I love that you talk about how different single moms are treated and how we have been conditioned to think of single parent families as "broken" when they are not. Awesome!!
Doug McGaghie (9 months ago)
Myrna Buckles Of course they are. Do you think that children do not need their fathers in their lives? Overwhelming statistics and common sense would suggest otherwise.
Helen Henley (1 year ago)
Fantastic <3 So inspirational!
Andrew Rai (2 months ago)
Helen Henley are you on your way to your 4th divorce that you find this inspiring?

Would you like to comment?

Join YouTube for a free account, or sign in if you are already a member.